living down to expectations

I have just been listening to a debate on radio 5live about youth culture and how we need to bring discipline and prevent these young people from getting hold of alcohol so they don't cause trouble and I just thought - how sad. How much can we miss the point. the answer isn't more police and less alcohol. the answer lies with society. not just the politicians although they certainly have their role to play, but actually the answer lies with all of us. everyone! Because the answer comes down to expectations. let me tell you a story to explain.



when I was in junior school, I was a really good footballer. I was top scorer for my school team, I also played for another team where I was again top scorer. if we ever had to pick a team I was usually captain or picked first. I was pretty good. Then when I was 10 I skipped a year of school and went into secondary school. but this school was huge and I was the youngest kid in the whole school, and about the smallest. I didn't know anyone and didn't really have any friends. I wasn't popular and wasn't even allowed to play football with them in the playground. Then came the day for trials for the football team. This was my chance to show them what I could do. I took my kit in and was excited all day. The problem came when the school day ended and it was time for the trials. I went to the changing rooms and people started laughing at me and asking why I was there. they told me I couldn't play, I didn't have a chance of getting in the team, I was too small, I was wasting my time, and they made fun of me. by the time we got on to the field to start the trial my confidence was shot. But it didn't matter what they said, I could do my talking on the field. So the game started and the first 15 minutes went by and no-one had even passed to me or let me have a single kick. I was getting really frustrated but then my chance came; the ball broke down the right. our winger got to the by line and crossed for the two forwards in the box, but they both missed it, as did the keeper and the ball came over to me coming in frmo the left, 8 yards out and an open goal. at that moment I lost my footing and sliced the ball wide. missed. failed. not good enough.

I was soon substituted and when the team sheets were put up, I was sub for the 3rd team. I never recovered. for the rest of my secondary school life I never once played a good game. I had lived down to the expectations that had been put on me.

I see the same thing happening all around me. How many times do we see children being told what they will or will not achieve at school. I sometimes sit in meetings where children are written of as failing as young as 5 years old. We expect children to fail in school.

Again, every time I hear a discussion on under age sex, sex education and why we give condoms to 12 year olds, I hear it said time and time again that 'young people are going to have sex so we need to make sure they do it safely'!!!! The heart is right here because we want to protect, but our expectations are so low. we do the same with alcohol, we do the same with marriage. we do the same with so many areas. we set our expectations low and then society lives down to them.



Jesus had a different approach. In Israel at that time children went to school at the age of 5 and for 6 years learnt the first 5 books of the bible off by heart. at the end of this most children would leave and go into their fathers business, fishing or tax collecting, or carpentry. However the best of the best would stay on for a few more years and learn the rest of the old testament off by heart! that's alot of learning!! At the end of this they would leave and go into their fathers business, such as fishing, tax collecting or caprpentry. However the best of the best of the best of the best would then become a 'talmud' or disciple. this means that they would be invited by a rabbi to follow him and become his disciple and learn his ways, learn his interpretation of scripture and eventually become 'like him'. This was the highest honour. these men were held in high esteem in society. these were the best, the guys who made it to the top, the select few.

In scripture however we see Jesus (who people called 'Rabbi') approaching young men who were fishing and asking them to follow him and become his disciples. these men were the guys who hadn't made it, the not so good, the failures and Jesus was saying 'you can be like me, I believe in you as someone with real potential. And they dropped everything to follow this guy who believed in them and asked them to follow him!

As we read on through scripture we see Jesus choosing a wide range of young men, all of whom had not made it. the not so goods and Jesus called them to follow him, he told one of them that he would build his church on him, and he commanded them to go out and heal the sick, raise the dead, save the captives, to change the world! These are the guys who turned the world upside down. the men became heroes, world savers, and they are still talked about 2000 years later, but they started by failing, by being not so good, by coming short of the mark.



coming back to today, I am convinced that the problem lies with society. We have low expectations of life, of ourselves, our potential, our young people, their potential, their decision making, their behaviour and their future, and then we are surprised and concerned when they live down to them.



maybe we should expect more, maybe we should believe in them more, maybe we should credit them with more intelligence, more potential, more hope. Maybe we should look at ourselves and our generation and ask what lessons we are giving them. how are we teaching them to respect themselves more? how are we teaching them about consequences to our decisions and our actions? how are we teaching them about healthy attitudes toward sex and sexuality?

maybe we should be more like Jesus and encourage the potential in people, teach them how to achieve it, how to live better lives.

we need to raise our expectations but to do that maybe we need to raise our expectations of ourselves first and allow God to transform us into the people he created us to be then we can release the potential in others.